Over the years, we've owned three dogs since puppyhood (one was already mine before I met my husband), and adopted two adults (including one of our current dogs). My parents have owned two of the "family dogs" since puppyhood, and their current one was adopted as an adult. Something I've noticed about the adopted dogs is, they seem a little more insecure/concerned about not being near us. Even a year or longer after the adoption. They follow us around, sit/lie down nearby, and get even more excited about snuggles and praise. The other dogs do this but slightly less often, as if they feel more secure in their relationship with us. Nobody has ever given them away or dumped them somewhere. This is not something that annoys me...I am just curious if anyone else has noticed.
As a rescuer and foster, I have found that with young puppies, they have never been unloved. So, they take it for granted that you will always be there. But once a dog has been given up, abandoned, abused, etc, they are very grateful when a good person brings them home. They understand what it's like not to have a good loving home. I remember one sweet dog who I was trying to place. A co-worker's boyfriend came to meet her. He really liked her but didn't want to take her away from me because she was obviously attached. I told him "by the time you get to the highway, she'll have forgotten me and will adore you". He took her. That night he called to tell me it only took her to the end of the driveway... I adopted out a border collie once. The couple loved her but said she wasn't really bonding with them. Then they had to go out of town for a funeral so they dropped her off with me to dogsit. She moved back in without issue. Then they came to pick her up. She was SO HAPPY!!!! I call it the "Sally Field effect". She thought they had returned her. When they came back, she was just estatic that they really wanted her, " you like me! You really like me!". After that she was bonded to them fully. She just needed to see that it wasn't another temporary home. Ever since, I always offer to dogsit for my fosters - and I highly encourage it for dogs that are a bit more aloof. The trick is that the new home must drop them off and pick them back up - it shows the dog that they love her. Beyond that, it also has to do with breed. A husky doesn't show that affection or need to be with you. A shepherd will accept that you must leave sometimes but will do the shepherd whine hysterically when you get home. And Tornado-dogs have FOMO. He's outside miserable because the plumber is here and he wants to help...
I should add about one of the shepherds I adopted. She was a gorgeous purebred. She was bought as a puppy - high quality show lines - by a couple. Five years later they divorced and neither wanted her. She was at a family friend's boarding kennel. After several weeks my Mom called me and said I should meet her. She said the dog just laid there despondent. I went there and tried to talk to her through the kennel door. She wouldn't even look at me. So I grabbed the leash on the door and went in the kennel. She was at my side. Clicked the leash on and she was at the door. Opened it to go sit in the office and talk to her. She was at the office door to the parking lot ready to leave. She was done. I was her person from that moment forward. She didn't care about anyone or anything else. I saved her from that kennel and that was that. She was at my side all the time.
Wonderful stories! I don't understand couples who split up and suddenly, nobody wants the pets. They sound like people who view pets as a home accessory and not a member of the family. We adopted Rose (our Maltese mix) from a family who was "busy" after the two children got older. The father got her in the first place because he basically thought "Parents are supposed to give little kids a dog". Like paying the rent/mortgage or something.
My first dog was a beautiful Welsh Collie type, ( she was the one that I rebelled and took home just before my 11th. birthday. I wasn't allowed a dog so had begun to help at the Lost Dogs Home, weekends and school hols). Beauty was very closely attached to me, she was ultra sensitive to train, and had sharp protective instincts - which did get her into trouble a couple of times. After Beauty, my dogs were pedigree breeds, most were either bought as puppies or bred at home. I did adopt two adult Löwchens but they were moving from one multi-dog house environment to another, so settled in quickly. When we retired OH thought that we should 'do our bit' by having rescue dogs. Mia Lurcher was a starvation case. She weighed 13 pounds when she came to us - a fortnight of nursing after being picked up by a main road, unable to stand. Mia was always grateful to have a home, she was too well behaved and liked to keep us in sight. Tweed had been living in the city centre and would have loved nothing more than to get back there. Caring for a dog whose only desire is to leave its home calls for a lot of patience. She was a 'hard' dog who eventually learned to love us, and gained qualifications in Obed. and Working Trials. Eddie Beagle came next, he was only 4 months but had a lot of moves behind him. He took a long time to form an attachment and was fixated by his food bag. He was a very talented worker, but was reactive to any stranger dog that came within his 'safe space'. He had bowel cancer for eight of his thirteen years, but never let it stop him. The two Beagle girls were from multi-dog situations. Both had been shown, and had had puppies. Merry had lived in first class show kennels, and Tally had lived partly as a house dog and partly in kennels. Both came from caring owners and had no problems adapting. Trying to make sense of my experiences, I think that if a dog has been brought up in a secure, caring environment, it will confidently settle into a new home. If it has known rough-handling, hunger or anxiety, those feelings of insecurity will either hover in the background for many years, or they will show as behavioural problems. I'm sorry that this reply is so long-winded.
That one couple had gotten a second shepherd - male - and they fought over him in the divorce. But just couldn't bother to care for the female. I fondly called her my neurotic psychotic shepherd because of her sole focus on me. As a rescuer, I turned away a lot of potential homes because the family wasn't all in. So many families wanted to get a pet for the kid when they were about 10-12 years old. I would explain that in 3-5 years, that kid would start developing other interests - sports, romantic relationships, college aspirations, part-time jobs, etc. If the parents aren't willing to start taking care of the pet at that point, then they shouldn't get a pet. And when the kid swore on their life they would do all the care for the pet, I'd ask them and the parents "do they do their chores without reminder every single day?", " do they never complain and try to push of their chores for another hour because of a game or tv show, etc?". When the parents say "no", I tell them that this will not be any different. No matter how much the kid truly wants a pet, it WILL fall to the parents to do the daily care - maybe not tomorrow, but in a month, a year, or five years down the road, the parents will be doing that work. With the dogs, I've seen some behavioral issues that couldn't be overcome. My childhood boxer was rescued from a home that was feeding her half a can of cat food per day. We couldn't leave bread on the counter - she'd eat it. And we had to put the garbage bin on the table when we weren't home or she'd get into it. But for the average rescue, with time in a good home, most behavioral issues would resolve. The issues that didn't resolve tended to be breed-related. I read an article years ago that commented on the rescue dog owner habit of seeing behaviors and automatically trying to connect it to abuse. The dog is fearful of men - he must have been abused by a man. The dog is afraid of the broom - she must have been hit with a broom. And so on. In most cases, it has nothing to do with abuse, just a lack of socialization, etc. With fear of men, it is often simply that men are bigger, less likely to get down to the dogs level (they tend to tower over the dog), and less likely to soften their voice when talking to the dog - not doing those things simply makes men more intimidating to a shy or nervous dog. Since reading that, I'm less inclined to attach behavioral issues to a history of abuse and try to look for other reasons. I find I am better able to resolve those issues that way. And even if I can't resolve the issue, I have a healthier response to it. My poodle-terrier rescue would snap and growl if you tried to remove her from a crate (or box or closet, etc). It wasn't due to abuse. It was because the prior foster home would call her to go outside to potty and she found that if she ran into her crate and snapped they would let her stay inside (and she'd potty inside). I took her and eliminated the crate. Potty time, she ran into the closet. I didn't let her get away with that. The closet was closed from that point forward. She then tried an empty box. Nope. Removed that. She quickly learned that she WAS going out to potty. No more snapping and growling for any reason. Of course, she did expect to be brought inside within 30 seconds after barking to say let me in. If I didn't have to door opened within that 30 seconds, she'd climb the 6 foot fence and run away. That I couldn't resolve - but it was a much better issue than the snapping and pottying inside.
