Bonding with bc General Chat

Discussion in 'Border Collie' started by HagNdiwmv, Feb 24, 2022.

  1. HagNdiwmv

    HagNdiwmv New Member

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    Bonding with bc

    My bc is very Happy to see everyone in the family and wants affection from them, im kind of upset becUAse ive been trying my hardest to be his „person” and ive been the one who „wanted” the dog and is training him, Feeding him, going out with him ect. He seems to love others more than me.. what can i do for him to like me more or bond with me because i feel like he doesnt like me :/
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  3. Helidale

    Helidale Member

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    Toedtoes likes this.
    If I remember correctly your BC is still very young and will want to play with whoever gives him attention. This is as it should be, good social skills are formed at this age by lots of positive interactions with other people and dogs.
    My recently rehomed Beagle spends her evenings cuddled on my husband's knee. They think the world of each other and I'm not jealous as he is quite ill, and she is a comfort to him. However, I am the source of her food and entertainment - I provide the activities and the meals that she loves. She is learning to do some trick training, and the encouragement and rewards that she gets is what is building a different type of bond with me - one of responding to my attention and wanting to please. Border Collies are wonderful learners, use this to your advantage.
    Have a look at some of the Kikopup videos on YouTube, and see how Emily builds relationships with her dogs.
  4. Chris B

    Chris B Member

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    Helidale likes this.
    He also know that you are there and that you will love him forever so he doesn't have to try so hard with you :)

    Don't take it personally. It's quite flattering that he is so confident and comfortable in your love for him
  5. Toedtoes

    Toedtoes Member

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    Helidale likes this.
    You need to separate your relationship with him from his relationship with others. It's not a competition.

    My Moose-dog absolutely adored his Aunt C. When she was around, she was his entire focus. He sat next to her, he watched out for her, he gave affection, and so on. I learned to accept it for what it was. Once I stopped "worrying" about him liking her more, I discovered certain things:

    1. He always looked to me before going off on walks with her - getting my approval;

    2. He had the same protecting behavior with other friends and his sister Bat-dog was always at MY side - so it was him protecting our friends because I was safe and protected.

    3. If he got frightened, he came to me. I was HIS protector.

    4. At the end of the day, he always came to bed with me. I was his home.

    Once I realized those things, I understood that I held a special place in his heart. I wasn't "just like" everyone else, let alone "less than" everyone else. I was HIS rock.

    And once that made sense, it became a lot easier to encourage and enjoy his bond with others. His Aunt C met us at the vet's when it was time. He was so happy to see her and they took a short walk together and sat together - his head on her lap. I wasn't jealous, I didn't feel left out or unappreciated. I felt a strong sense of pride that he was loved by so many so deeply and that he gave his love to many so completely. Her grief was as deep as mine. I asked the ER office and his regular vet's to send the condolence cards to her. He would have wanted that.

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